You're the Closest to Heaven that I'll ever be
by Eostella
Summary: OneShot. Adoption!fic. Sixth Year. Slight AU: No horcruxes. While on the Knight Bus, Severus hears a muggle song that makes him think about the love of his life and his only remembrance of her, his adopted son Harry. Song!fic. Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls.


Disclaimer: I am Asian. Enough said. Anything which you suspect is based on the books or movies, I don't claim it to be my own. They're JK's.

This is my first fanfic EVER though I have been lurking here in FFn for years. I just can't get this plot bunny out of my head. My love for Severus Snape did not help matters either. As for Harry's name, I just figured Severus wouldn't want him to inherit the name of his muggle father. And I like the character of Eileen Prince!

It's not beta'd so any mistakes are mine. :)

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><p>It was nearing the feast at the Great Hall and the pathways of the dungeons were eerily quiet. No Slytherin, or any other student for that matter, was to be seen. Up the castle, though, was another story. Everyone was in a festive mood including the portraits, the ghosts and more so, Peeves the poltergeist. It was Halloween Night.<p>

Neither hair nor hide was spotted of the Potions Master and the Boy-Who-Lived at the festivities of the Great Hall. This was not uncommon and everyone was accustomed to the fact that adoptive father and adopted son opt to skip Halloween festivities to pay reverence for their respective losses. Normally, they would confine themselves to Severus' quarters down in the dungeons and spend a quiet night after lighting candles for both Lily and James Potter. Tonight, however, Harry made a request to visit his biological parents' graves. Severus was more than willing to comply; he had been waiting for five years now for Harry to make that request. They exited the castle and walked beyond Hogwarts wards to apparate to Godric's Hollow. However, Harry had other ideas.

"Dad, could we please take the Knight Bus?"

Severus lifted his brow, "The Knight Bus? Why would you want that, Harry?"

"Well, I have learned that it could be used by wizards as a means of transport. And though...we are not stranded or anything, I am not really up to...apparating right now."

"Should've heeded my instruction to slow down your eating tonight." Severus muttered and a little louder he said, "Very well. But really, Harry, you must get used to apparating. You can't always floo or fly to places."

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "I know that, Dad."

Severus then, lifted his wand and called for the Knight Bus. Almost immediately, the purple three-decker bus appeared and Stan Shunpike opened the door and spoke, "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport to the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor for this evening. Now where should we delivering you two be?"

Severus took in the sight before him. He had heard of the Knight Bus and its atrocities: the color purple, the chandelier, the slightly barmy conductor and the highly reckless driver. He was stunned to silence and was contemplating whether to ride the purple contraption or not. He managed to sputter "Godric's Hollow" when Harry nudged his side.

"Took you long enough, mister. Well c'mon, then. Let's not wait for the snow to fall. In, gentlemen."

Harry chuckled at the remark and joyfully skipped in the bus taking in his surroundings. Severus followed soon after and the pair took in the marvel of the Knight Bus.

"Where are the chairs?" Harry asked.

"Beds are more comfortable, don't you think?"

Harry merely nodded and took a seat on the bed next to his adoptive father. He could see another wizard two beds away, heavily snoring. The sound made Severus' face contort in slight annoyance and he gripped his robes to prevent himself for hexing the pig-sounded man with a Silencing Charm. And then without warning, the Knight Bus revved to life and the father and son jumped in surprise.

"Keep a firm hand on the handles, travelers." Shunpike warned. "Ernie's feeling a little bit of a daredevil tonight."

"Did you say dare-?" Severus' question was lost in his throat as he and Harry tried to hold on for dear life with the Knight Bus practically throwing them about. Harry's bespectacled eyes widened in surprise as he spotted Stan standing with ease at a corner while the Knight Bus was thrashing him and Severus about.

"What d'you say your names 'ere?"

Severus pondered for a while. He did not want to give a stranger their names. Much less a stranger whom Severus thinks goes around the bend and back again every minute. "It's Severus. Severus…Prince. And this is my son, Harry Prince."

Again without warning, the Knight Bus did a sudden stop causing the two wizards to be almost violently thrown forward. Harry lost his footing and Severus held him up and was offered a small smile as a sign of gratitude. Severus nodded in return and peeked outside. It was not yet Godric's Hollow. Harry beat him to the inquiry, "Why are we stopping? Is there another who needs transport?"

"Nope, Harry innit? Ern's jus' changed 'is mood s'all. He's gon' go slow now. I hope you lot don't mind the American muggle music."

Harry's eyes bugged out, "American muggle music? He listens to that? Why?"

"Ehh, never really asked the ol' chap. Just does when 'e drives slow."

And there it was, the plucking of the electric guitar could be heard throughout the Knight Bus and its passengers were quiet, curious and eager to hear what American muggle music sounds like. Harry was looking out the window and enjoying the welcome sound, oblivious to the fact that his father was in deep thought as the words struck Severus home.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
><em>_'Cause I know that you'd feel me somehow_

Immediately, Severus thought about Lily, the one who brought happiness to his life through their childhood laughter and frolic. The day he met her by the tree was the start of his life. He finally had someone, other than his mum, who understands him. He thought about their friendship in Hogwarts and how it was taunted to the fullest for a friendship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin is simply unacceptable.

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
><em>_And I don't want to go home right now_

Severus had a rather unhappy childhood. His abusive father had always drunk all their money away, continually hurting him and his mother, Eileen. Severus would always retreat to his room and cry. Cry for the childhood he wishes to have. Cry for his beautiful and pristine mother who deserves no man's hands to be laid upon her. It was Lily who helped him through his troubles at home. She taught him how to deal with his grief for his non-functional family. Times like these with Lily made him wish not to return to that poor excuse of a home but Lily had told him that his mum needs him too. It was through Lily that Severus had found strength in Eileen, which drove him to become a better son who strives to never disappoint his mother.

_And all I can taste is this moment  
><em>_And all I can breathe is your life_

His thoughts then shifted to the day when the source of Severus' strength had passed on. The day that Eileen Prince-Snape had died had to be one of the hardest days Severus had to go through. Lily had sat with him all afternoon and through the night offering her shoulder for him to cry on. He felt that losing his mum was like losing the will to live. His strength was gone. And yet when, Lily held his hand, he had realized that strength never really goes away. The death of Severus' mum was unspeakably painful yet through this, he found a new source of strength in the form of his best friend, Lily. It was then that he realized he loves her.

_And sooner or later it's over  
><em>_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

The 'end' of their friendship came when Severus had unintentionally insulted Lily in front of a lot of Hogwarts students. The disappointment and hurt in her beautiful green eyes shook him to the core and immediately after he uttered "Mudblood" in a fit of temper, he had regretted his words. His mother would have been ashamed of him. He was not really sure what to do thus he resorted to avoiding Lily for he has no face to show to her. He was a foolish coward. He couldn't bring himself to apologize and he let his burden drag on for weeks. When he finally had the gall to do it, he waited in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady in Gryffindor tower, waiting for Lily to either go in or out of the dormitory. After what seemed to be long hours, Lily finally appeared but she was not alone. She was with James Potter. He felt truly betrayed but offered his apologies, nonetheless. To his surprise, Lily forgave him and they started anew. He even started being civil to Potter…James.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
><em>_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

His love for Lily never ceased. He hid this and the pain that comes along with it by studying the Dark Arts. Lily disapproved of this but she never really stopped him. This led him to figure out that he had lost Lily to James Potter forever. It came to a point when the pain of his unrequited love for Lily was unbearable that he began to shut himself off, void of any emotion. He had lost his chances with Lily. No one would dare try to understand him now. His desire for acceptance grew but Severus buried them beneath his Occlumency shields.

_When everything's made to be broken  
><em>_I just want you to know who I am_

Severus' desire for acceptance was revisited when Lord Voldemort offered to take him under his wing, and offered a family among his followers. The Dark Lord somehow knew of his desire and Severus was swayed by the megalomaniac's words…words that turned out to be empty promises. When he had heard of the prophecy, he instantly relayed this to the Dark Lord, hoping to finally gain that acceptance. All he got in return was a devilish smile while the Dark Lord uttered plans of exterminating this child born as the seventh month dies.

When he had learned that it was Lily's son he had condemned, he broke. He swallowed his ballooning pride and begged for Albus Dumbledore for help. The wise, old man agreed and offered him the position of the spy for the Light in return. He was more than willing to comply. Severus then paid a visit to the Potters and confessed the sins which he wished to rectify. James did not look even a little enraged. Lily gave him a reassuring smile and said "The best is yet to come, Sev. I knew you do not have even a blot of evil in you." Severus felt that he did not deserve such kindness, such forgiveness. That same day, Severus swore on his magic to protect little Harry. When the news about Voldemort's defeat hit, happiness surged in him. But not for long. The murder of the Potters broke him even more, if it was even possible. He had failed them. He had failed Lily.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
><em>_Or the moment of truth in your lies_

Through the years that followed, he still was not fully healed from the scars that marred his heart. He still hurts and grieves for Lily everyday but he has finally learned to accept that she is gone. Such purposeless life was one without tears. His emotions were as barren as the hottest desert. But again, not for long. Albus had instructed him to pay a little visit to Little Whinging to check up on one Harry Potter, four years after the murder of Lily and James. What he saw startled him.

Harry was made to work like a house elf. He was made to tend to the garden in nothing but rags as clothes which he was sure were covered in dried blood and dirt. He could see fresh welts from belts and a long burn mark on his arm. He couldn't take it anymore. He did not bother knocking; he just blasted the door and hexed the Dursley's vowing to never return Lily's child to their filthy muggle hands. He was startled when the child with Lily's eyes looked up to him and said, "I knew you'd come. Mummy and Daddy came to me in a dream said you will. Thank you for saving me, _Mr._ _Sev_."

_When everything feels like the movies  
><em>_Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

It was imperative to keep their relationship a secret, at least until Voldemort's complete demise. Severus still had to maintain his position as a spy and endure Death Eater meetings with promise of torture at every second. He bleeds internally and occasionally externally, and from this he feels that he still has a life and that he must return home to his son. Needless to say, it was rather convenient that Harry had managed to defeat the Dark Lord for the second time, and this time completely, at the graveyard at the end of the Triwizard tournament. Their secret was eating them alive.

When the belated announcement of the adoption came out, everyone was stunned but not all of them were particularly happy with the news. Some speculated that Severus was making another Dark Lord out of Harry while some guessed that Severus was just feeding off of Harry's Potter fortune. The pair paid no heed to slanderous articles. They did not matter as long as they knew the truth.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
><em>_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

When the rest of the Death Eaters were rounded up and thrown into Azkaban, many had wondered why Severus Snape wasn't one of them. Dumbledore only explained to the Wizarding World that Severus was a spy for the Light and had played a great role in bringing an end to Voldemort. Even more had wondered what his intentions were and why he chose to spy. Nothing was said about that. People wouldn't understand that what drove him was his immense love for one Lily Evans-Potter and her child. Now his child, Harry James Potter-Prince.

_When everything's made to be broken  
><em>_I just want you to know who I am_

Before the adoption papers were signed and sent to the Ministry, Severus sat harry down and bared the truth. He told his story, the story of the boy who met a muggleborn witch of his age that fateful day in summer. He told the story of the young man who always strived to make his mum proud. He told the story of a young man who was picked on for the reason that he simply existed. He told the story of the man who had come to love his best friend, his only friend, as more than a friend. He had told the story of the man who committed far too many mistakes and is in need of redemption by swearing to protect the boy in front of him. Severus told Harry that Harry was his redemption. After baring the truth, he sat in anxiety and watched Harry's blank face. He expected the child to run out of the dungeons and demand to never see Severus again. But it wasn't so. The knots in his stomach loosened as a small smile appeared and Harry said, "You are a good man…Dad."

A lump formed in his throat but he swallowed it down and said, "I am not a good man, my little Prince. But I will try to be a good man. For you, Harry, I will be a good man."

To his colleagues, Severus seems void of emotion. To the students, he is the greasy git of the dungeons. To other people, he looks like an overgrown bat. But to his son Harry, he is the bravest man he ever knew.

As the song faded, Stan Shunpike's voice rang through the Knight Bus and ceased Severus' thoughts of the past. They had arrived in Godric's Hollow. The pair wasted no time getting off the bus after relaying gratitude to both Ernie and Stan. The glow of the moonlight lit their path as they walked the pavements, Severus leading the way into the cemetery where Lily and James' graves were. Silence enveloped the pair as Severus was still in contemplation and Harry was taking the surroundings of the place which was once his home.

The pair paid respects to their losses and offered silent prayers. They had stayed there in silence, comfortable on the grass next to Lily and James' graves. Harry was leaning on Severus' side and his father's arm was around his shoulder. Harry then whispered into the night.

"What are you thinking about, Dad?"

"The muggle song"

"It was beautiful wasn't it, Dad?"

"Yes. It reminded me of someone."

Harry looked up to him with a questioning look. Severus obsidian eyes bore into Harry's green irises and responded, "Your mum, Harry."

Harry threw his arms around Severus' waist and placed his forehead on the crook of his father's neck. To his chest he whispered, "I'll love you for Mum, Dad. Though probably not...the same way." Harry crinkled his nose after what he said while Severus gave out a low chuckle and hugged Harry tighter and closer to him. "But, I'll love you for her. I have been for years now."

"Thank you, Son. I love you too. Always." A lone tear escaped from Severus' eyes as he placed a kiss on Harry's black mop of hair.

_I just want you to know who I am_

Lily knew Severus' story. Harry knows too.

_I just want you to know who I am_

Lily had accepted Severus. Harry has, too.

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><p>Thank you for reading. I hope it was okay. Virtual hugs for you!<p> 


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